When Everyone Wants To Fit In, How Do You Stand Out?

It’s difficult to stand out in a culture that despises individuals who don’t fit in. Let’s face it, let’s be honest.

Unless you’re David Bowie or Marilyn Manson, being unusual may result in a less successful attitude. No one wants to be a pretender, yet changing one’s personality to acquire a desired career, romantic partner, or group of friends is simple and surprisingly frequent.

The fact is that we all have a strong need to belong. This urge to belong is backed up by quantitative evidence [1]. Isn’t it difficult to defeat science?

What if there was a way to be unique while yet being successful? There is, in fact, one! Get rid of your poser persona and adopt a successful attitude.

1. Why Accepting Yourself Is So Tough

It turns out that being different is really difficult when you refuse to acknowledge your differences. Who’d have guessed? As a result, accepting yourself as you are is the first step toward becoming unique.

For this one, you might need to play therapist and ask yourself why you’re wanting to fit in. What has caused you to deny your own individuality?

You may accept the lovely idiosyncrasies within you that are just waiting to be shared with the world after you know the answer to this question.

Related: 15 Tips for a Happier and More Fulfilling Life

2. Stop Trying to Be Different

Here’s the thing: if you strive to stand out, you’ll end up looking like that pretender who tried to blend in with the crowd.

When you strive to be unique, you end up trying to fit into what you believe is unique rather than adhering to your particular preferences. What makes you think it’ll work for hipster rebels or other, more unique groups if it didn’t work for the cool kids’ club?

We’re conditioned to dress, talk, and think in specific ways from an early age (thanks, school system!) You’ll need to search within yourself for inspiration, rather than looking to unorthodox trends, to break that indoctrination and liberate the distinctive identity within.

You might be wondering what we mean when we say “see inside.” No, this isn’t a new-age meditation course, but if you’re interested in that, consider it your specialty!

What we mean is that you should challenge the current quo by experimenting with your peculiarities.

Don’t try to emulate less popular trends or persuade yourself of certain interests in order to stand apart; doing so will just draw the wrong type of attention.

You will feel more like yourself and create a success mentality that emanates confidence if you naturally focus on your individuality. Isn’t that appealing?

Related: 13 Low-Fat, High-Protein Foods for a Healthy Diet

3. Why You Need to Embrace Your Hobbies

Now comes the exciting part—hobbies! Hobbies may do wonders for one’s self-esteem. They can help you tap into your inner uniqueness, even more, making them ideal for mental health and a successful attitude.

Here are a few ways that hobbies may help you:

You Gain Identity

It’s easy to become lost in the need to fit in, and some individuals even go to great lengths to adopt new identities and hobbies simply to feel accepted.

However, denying oneself interests for the sake of social acceptance robs you of the potential for real self-expression. In the long run, pursuing your genuine passions is considerably more fulfilling.

You Can Find Like-Minded Peers

Hobbies provide you the opportunity to embrace what makes you unique in a way that might really help you establish friends with similar interests. [2] Not only is it acceptable to be different, but there is also a community of like-minded people eager to involve you in similar interests.

You’ll discover that being unusual is exhilarating after you’ve joined a group of people who are just as enthusiastic about your hobbies as you are.

You Feel Success

There’s nothing like mastering a new skill in your hobby to make you feel accomplished.

Whether you’re learning how to play Dungeons and Dragons (no judgment!) or not, there’s something for everyone. Whether you’ve finally mastered the art of yodeling or you’ve finally mastered the art of chess, mastering some aspect of your pastime puts you in a success mentality, which may lead to improved moods and confidence.

Researchers discovered that “participants who reported a larger number of Mastery activities for the week had higher mood ratings” in a study on how activities might impact mood.[3]

That’s right: mastering a hobby may genuinely improve your mood!

Related: What Is Well-Being And How Can It Be Improved?

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Stand Out

Simply said, if you’re used to fitting in, it’s difficult to suddenly become the center of attention. When you choose to be unusual, for better or worse, you will draw attention to yourself.

But don’t get too worked up just yet. This may really work in your favor, especially if you have a goal-oriented attitude.

That’s right, you read that correctly. Standing out among job candidates or even your coworkers at your present job might mean the difference between retaining your dull, low-paying job and rising to the top as a successful, “out there” type of person.

5. Avoid Psychological Games

It’s no wonder that it’s easy to get caught up in games. People have developed some fairly sophisticated techniques for stealthily fitting in and manipulating circumstances for their own gain, from power maneuvers in the workplace to gossiping in social circles.

Consider what occurred with Lindsay Lohan’s character in ‘Mean Girls.’

When you get caught up in psychological games, you compromise your individuality merely to fit in, even if it appears to be a plan that would lead to a successful mentality.[4]

Not to add, playing games might backfire in the long run when people figure out what you’re up to. After all, it doesn’t appear to be that successful, does it? It’s preferable to stand out by refusing to participate.

6. Dress Up (or Down)

You’ll start to see yourself in a whole different light as you start to step away from the throng, and that’s completely OK! So, why not modify your look to fit your personality better?

We’re not suggesting you don a huge hat shaped like Texas—unless that’s your thing—but here is an opportunity to switch up some of the accessories you’ve been wearing on a daily basis that have helped you blend in.

Wear an edgy piece of jewelry, a watch, belt, shoes, or a hat. Paint your nails, color your hair the color you’ve always wanted, and ditch your professional suit in favor of something more eccentric and distinctive. You’ll probably feel more in control when you do this.

Related: Find Your Study Motivation (Even If There Isn’t An Exam)

7. Don’t Be a People-Pleaser

You’ve finally delved into the depths of your own personality. But don’t worry, we’re not done yet!

Just because you’ve accepted and changed your inner differences doesn’t mean you’re immune to the forces that drove you to repress yourself in the first place.

Others will make comments about you and identify you as unusual. In other instances, you may even feel like an outsider.

However, don’t let what others think of you deter you from pursuing your desire to be unique. Continue to value the aspects of yourself that make you unique to avoid falling back into the trap of wanting to fit in and satisfy others around you.

Let Your Uniqueness Shine Through

Keep in mind that you and your individuality are vital. In an ideal society, everyone finds their own niche in the social sphere based on their own traits.

You set yourself up to discover the perfect crowd for your personality, create a successful development mindset, and be accepted for who you are when you allow yourself to be different.

And who knows what could happen? While you’re doing it, you could even influence and urge others to march to the beat of their own drums!


  1. ScienceDirect: The need to belong and its association with fully satisfying relationships: A tale of two measures
  2. Kettering Global: Why Hobbies Are Important
  3. Hindawi: Effect of Three Types of Activities on Improving Mood and Enjoyment in a Brief Online Depression Study
  4. Brightside: 10 Curious Psychological Games Our Mind Likes to Play With Us

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