When you make a mistake, you rapidly forget about all the victories and accolades you’ve received over the years. It’s all you can think about if you make one small error. And, regrettably, you may have to live with it for the rest of your life. This is typical, but it isn’t good for you.
Mistakes are inevitable, and the smart understand that this is how you learn. From toddlerhood to adulthood, we stumble, fall, and get back up.
Even so, when you make a mistake, this practical knowledge can vanish. “I’m upset at myself,” you might think first. This might also be the same term you type into a search engine to find answers.
First and foremost, understand that you are not alone. Second, there is a slew of options for calming down this raging feeling and getting back on track.
So, take a big breath and think about these ten things you can do when you’re furious at yourself for making mistakes.
1. Remember, You’re Human
You will make mistakes, as will everyone else. You’ll feel better about your path once you realize you’re a part of this flawed species known as humans. Consider it a rite of passage if you’re angry because you’ve made a mistake.
You’ll inevitably make mistakes, say things you shouldn’t, and fall short of your goals at times. This is life, not to be glib, but to be honest. It’s part of being human.
So, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past or will make in the future, they’ll help you improve as a professional and as a person.
2. Get Your Anger in Check
Anger is a troublesome emotion because it confuses your judgment and prevents you from making rational decisions. It’s also quite harmful to one’s health.
Anger raises blood pressure, causes stress and increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, and suppresses the immune system. Furthermore, unchecked rage can lead to harmful results such as violence and addictive habits.
You must learn to control your wrath. You own your state of mind by expressing publicly, “I’m upset at myself.” Now have a look at it.
Allowing it to fester and expand is not a good idea. Keep in mind that mistakes are tolerable, but unbridled rage is not. If you don’t control your anger, it can negatively affect the rest of your life.
3. Vent and Get It Off Your Chest
Venting is one technique to let your anger out. Nothing feels better than letting the world know how you’re feeling. However, complaining about social media isn’t a good idea.
If you go off on someone or have a self-deprecating rant, it can ruin your personal and professional life.
Find a dependable source to rant to instead. This might be anyone, from a family member to a pet. “I’m angry at myself,” you can simply say. All the bottled-up feelings that have been weighing you down should be released.
It’s a good idea to rant in the company of a trusted group of friends or even a support group. These groups are created to listen to whatever it is that is dragging you down.
A journal can perhaps be the ideal place for you to vent. Writing down how you’re feeling and what you’ve learned from this experience is not only a terrific method to vent, but it also serves as a repository for your thoughts and feelings to be revisited later.
4. Get Up and Get Moving
Exercise and movement are excellent strategies to get rid of the “I’m angry with myself” feeling that is building up inside. Consider going for a fast walk, tackling the weight bag, or cleaning out the closet or garage.
The next natural step in releasing yourself from this weight is to occupy your mind, body, and spirit with useful physical activity.
There’s nothing like working up a good sweat to feel liberated. Physical activity will instantly calm you down and a surge of endorphins will provide you with clarity.
You’re ready to enter into a rational area and assess what went wrong and how you can manage things better next time once you’ve discovered a healthy technique to exercise your adrenaline.
5. Seek Counsel From Others
Your judgment is impaired when you’re upset or coping with any other strong emotion. It’s difficult to navigate your way out of the woods. Seek advice from someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a professional, and tell them, “I’m furious at myself,” and explain why.
They’ll listen and assist you in resolving your rage. They might also give you advice on what you should do differently in the future or how to stop berating yourself. The best remedy for your rage will be their genuine positive affirmations and readiness to listen.
Remember that seeking professional treatment is not a sign of weakness, especially if you experience rage as a regular reaction to losses.
A counselor or clinician is qualified to assist you in identifying the source of such feelings and investigating why they are triggered.
When mistakes happen in the future, you’ll be able to better manage your emotions and seek alternative, more intelligent options.
6. Tamper Down Your Inner Critic
Allowing mistakes to trigger the inner voice that says, “I’m not good enough,” is a bad idea. While you may wonder if it’s real and believe your inner critic for a moment (or two), keep yourself from falling into the victim trap.
Allowing your inner critic to dictate your actions can stymie your advancement. You’ll give in to uncertainty and ponder, “Would the same results occur if I tried again?”
You’re not going to get anywhere if you’re paralyzed by dread. Instead, consider your inner wisdom and the words of your counsel—mistakes will be made.
As a result, say loudly, “I made a mistake.” “I’m furious with myself.” Then pull over to the side of the road, park it, turn off the motor, and walk away.
The next day, get up and get back to life, and don’t let wasteful, inaccurate, and self-sabotaging inner dialogue slow you down.
7. Learn From Your Mistakes
I’d like you to return to the idea that mistakes happen for a reason, so you can learn what not to do next time. The motivation to get things correctly should be “I’m upset at myself.” Stop and look around to see where the lesson is being taught.
What is one thing you will not do in the future? What else did you get out of it? Perhaps there are people you need to talk to in order to get things back on track. You may need to make some course repairs to move forward on a more positive path.
I just took part in a crucial career talk that did not go well. “I’m upset at myself,” I thought, for trying to make things right by speaking too much at the moment when silence would have been the best option. This was a lesson for me.
Instead of talking too much, pausing and listening are sometimes all that is required. Moving forward, I’ve learned to be more restrained when necessary, and I’ve found that my professional talks have yielded better results and increased my confidence.
8. Take Time for Yourself
One of the better motivators to come back to being satisfied with oneself is to say, “I’m angry at myself.” How? Exercise, reset, relaxation, and healthy distractions are just a few strategies to improve your mental state.
Too frequently, individuals assume that the greatest way to get over something is to go right back into it, whatever it is, or wherever the source of your error is. While this method works for many people, others may require more time and space to sort things out—and that’s just fine.
Taking a mental health break and removing yourself from the circumstance for a bit can do wonders for your spirit. It might also help you see things more clearly.
You may be too close to the error(s) to acquire a proper perspective right now. It’s important to remember that it’s fine to take a step back and clear your thoughts without feeling guilty.
This mental reset will put some distance between you and your mistakes, allowing you to return rejuvenated and ready to take the next step.
9. Practice Relaxation Skills
Deep breathing, yoga, and meditation can all help you relax and calm down when you’re feeling stressed. You may find that, like exercise, this sort of release and restoration helps you not only get through your anger but also clear your mind and restore your confidence.
This could also be a good moment to start developing your own personal relaxation routine so that the next time you make a mistake, you can enter your healing and restorative practice space and calm your mind, body, and soul.
10. Forgive Yourself
“To make a mistake is human, but to forgive is divine.” We all know this to be true, but we don’t always put it into practice. The true way to recovery is forgiveness.
You’ve certainly heard a lot of stories about how this approach has helped people get out of bad situations, such as recovering from illness.
Forgiveness is a strong tool, and it is the only way to progress. So I’ll leave you with one last challenge: how can you go from “I’m upset with myself” to “I forgive myself?”
You have no more excuses to indulge in the debilitating sensation of rage when you find yourself stewing over all the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” that accompany the underlying idea “I’m upset at myself.”
Experimenting with one or all of the aforementioned tactics can help you reduce the time between making a mistake and realizing your error.
The realization that you’re human, that you have people who believe in you, that you have resources to help you, and that you have a golden opportunity to learn and grow should be enough to improve tomorrow and your future.